No Arrrrrr, No Arrrrrr

You remember when you first heard this song?

What did you think of it? Everyone has a different interpretation of what Jordin Sparks' "No Air" means to them. My thoughts and feelings are no different. It is one of THOSE songs - those songs that force you to reminisce, reflect, and revel in the now and then moments of love. Realistically this could very well be the title sequence to my forever-in-production reality show entitled 'My Life.'

Does this song remind me of anyone in particular? Yes. As music does, it associates itself with where we are in life, and in most instances - with who. I know I'm not the only person who has songs that can send my mind and heart spiraling back to two or three years ago and recall the exact moment in detail. Damn you, emblazoned magic moments of love.....or something similiar.

Until the sun next leaves footprints upon the horizon.....this moment is mine. "T"

This One [Crying Like A Child]

*Press 'Play,' take a breath, let the song load - then begin reading the truth about "The One" who had me crying like a child that fateful June day in 2008...

We met in person through a mutual friend, and after having spent one wonderful evening together - you won me over with your fine cooking and some wonderful music. Your food warmed my soul, your musical taste/selections touched my heart; your mere presence and company put me on a high I have never been on before, and the passion we shared with one another made my heart skip a beat and left me speechless. I don't even remember the ride home that morning. You had me that bad. I feel that I had waited my whole life for that one evening. You have been in my dreams my whole life. I wish you would have given me a chance.

I have a picture of you that I keep close by. Also I don't let my Valentine's Day 2008 gift stray too far. (I named it after you). I look at them quite often and wonder why everything in my life that is too good to be true, actually is too good to be true. Our feelings for one another grew very very strong very fast. It kind of scared the two of us. I would like to think that our being scared is a smaller part of a larger plan.

You have other things going on in your life right now that don't allow for a relationship as of now. However, I feel that when I think of you so strongly and so often that there is something worth holding on to and going after. I am not going to give up. You are worth the wait, worth fighting for, and definitely worth having in my life regardless of any consequences on my behalf. I have never in my life wanted any one person in my life so badly as I do you. I hope you can appreciate that there is someone out there (me) that wants to be with you for all of the right reasons. You just have to give me a chance.

I don't care that we have known one another for such a short time. I cannot help how I feel or what makes me tick. There is so much that I have wanted to tell you, but resisted for fear of scaring you off, as this heavy of emotion is questionably too soon. If you read this, at least you now know that you have someone that aches to be with you only to make you the happiest man in the world that could love you unconditionally till the very end. Not to be vein, but I know I could be such a person to you, if you would just give me a chance.

I know that we both feel something for one another. I cannot get your voice out of my head, your face out of my mind, and I can't find that piece of my heart that is missing.....cause you have it. I never imagined anything like this being so hard. It kills me to know that you are so close and that I can't have you. I am obviously a wreck over you, and being smitten over you would be a gross understatement. Nothing I could ever say or do will ever be able to speak as loud as my heart does for you. I BEG of you, please don't forget me. I can't help but to follow my heart, and you are what my heart is after.

Dammit,........ I just can't quit you. I deserve a chance with you.

Sex Is Overrated....

....says the dude who's been getting his study on consistently for about two weeks! I don't know what to make of this desire that's been washing over men to request to give me face....but I thank you. I am so much more open to the receiving of fellatio. I can get that behind my desk at the hotel...not that I have. This month.

Why am I having the "orgel fantasia" dreams again....? [Don't even ask! I'm going to make a video to explain this.] [As soon as I figure out how to work this damn webcam.]

And if you haven't noticed, I'm trying to be more open and honest here at "This Moment Is Mine." I mean, I'm not revealing everything - but you certainly will be pulled in. And out. In. And out.

Get me a hot towel. Clean up on Aisle 7.

Long Story Short

Updating the followers.....

Well, I almost died May 15th at 4:08 AM along I-40 East, swerving to avoid a swerving semi. Apparently I was supposed to let the semi hit me, so I could get paid. I drive a 1996 Honda Accord - that shit would've been instantaneous man-down. So long story short (and leaving out the part about me calling 5 people crying hysterically), now I'm car less and was stuck in Nashville for 6...days. Thank God for one of my soldiers (from the Army Reserve). He hooked me up with his spare bedroom - in exchange, I cooked my ass off.

On Day 5, I made my famous queso/Ro-Tel (whatever you call it) & my first stab at Broccoli & Cheese Casserole. I'd have posted the end results - the empty dishes - but they mysteriously disappeared....hmmm. I think the crew ate those, too. I had to leave my Honda in the safety of a backyard and catch the Greyhound back to the Scenic City. Ugh. I felt like such a commoner.

***** "The Definition" has officially downgraded himself. It is what it was and it fizzled into what I won't let it be. He won't be sampling this ass any longer (unless OUR communication gets bertter)....I need consistency and communication and his muthafuckin' ass is lacking. SO AM I. I'm horrible when it comes to picking up a phone....Oh, if only his love and sex game tactics aligned; and my communication skills were equal to my making sticky skills - he'd be awesome. And I'd be the shit. And we would work. And I'd have a boyfriend I'd relocate for. OH WELL. I smile because it happened and I move forward.

**** "Freeze" downgraded me back to friend status; today. VIA TEXT MESSAGE. I have no comment for this because I never agreed to this relationship thing officially anyway.

**** "Him." Well, it was over before it even started. Story of my life.

[Singing] "He Ain't With Me Now" though....

I'm back.

Well, almost...

There are some candidates whom have presented good qualities, and each deserve a shot at the title, but there can only be one. There will only be one.

"J'hontaivius:" I need choices, dude.

[suppressing alternate personality]

I have got to get his ass intergrated. He is going to get me in more trouble that I'll allow.

Sexes, Scandal, and Broken Cars

That sums up the last two weeks...full lengthy update coming!

Because My Brother's Needing Me To Update The Blog So He Can Read It At Work

T: "I'm back, Blogland!"
J'hontaivius: "But I will be the one telling you what the fuck's happened so far..."

We haven't been properly introduced; I'm 'J'hontaivius J.' the more free-spirited side of Terrence....ya boy's been goin thru sum shit & been trippin' bout bloggin bout it, talkin' about "I don't wanna put myself out there!" and redundant shit like that. I really don't give a fuck what his ass does as long as I get my muthafuckin' nut ya feel me? I'm trying to get this bitch nigga laid and paid and he wanna be all good n shit! What the fuck's up wit that?!

T: "Can you please not write such filth about me? That's libel, JJ."
J'hontaivius: "Nigga who lyin wit yo wack ass?"
T: "Can I start the catching-up process now, sir?"
J'hontaivius: "Yea whatever but hurry up I'm fucking hungry-er than a bitch....!"
T: "Thank you so much for understanding."

Pardon the interruption; he's a character, that persona of mine. Now, back to my previous statement: I'm back! And it feels great to say so. So much has happened since the last true post. So let's begin - and I will attempt to make it brief [as if I could].

So I'm still living at the Big House with the GPs and am actually loving it (for the time being). I have a room, a private bath, and get at least 3-4 hot meals a week, its rent free and I only have to contribute to the basic essentials of groceries (eggs, milk, cheese, and cereal). However I do not have any privacy, total disregard of my 'grown-man status,' and get whispered about at the dining room table. The GPs just want me to get it back together and be happy; meaning save money and move out. I miss the wonders of watching TV naked, wrapped in a sheet on my couch with a bowl of Frosted Flakes and cartoons on. My father has strategically gotten an RV onto the property; so now I have the pleasure of him consistently inquiring about my life and who's in it, asking to borrow clothes and condoms, and getting water all over my bathroom during his showers.

I got a second job at another hotel. Its part-time, but its at the Holiday Inn Express and that's cool because of the pay raise. This check'll pay AT&T because of my high mobile phone bill. Is $167 a month too much? Apparently they don't think so; but I love unlimited everything! I should consider downsizing my plan, but when you run a business and are also a socialite, its hard to be out of touch. Gotta have my Blackberry, baby!

Now, about the Love Life:

** "The Definition" and I are slowly fizzling. Meaning the pop and sizzle is officially on simmer. I think he's a great person with a beautiful spirit, but let me inform you of the catalyst of why we're not as poppin' as we were - "The Definition" got into a verbal altercation with a superior not in his chain of responsibility at his job, and the ending result: he quit his job. In the midst of a recession. He quit his job. Now he informed me of what happened and everything and I was in total supportive mode, but here's the tiny tidbit that sent me reeling: When he's down, he's down and nobody can help. He doesn't want to see me, call me, whatever....but this dude will text. I'm ready to just say, "I care about you and what you're going through, but I feel you pushed me away, and I don't like that." Also we have trust issues....notice the WE there. So maybe I should just call it off to save face. Because until we were star-crossed from the beginning....
** "Freeze" and I are progressing. We're at that space where it seems someone's losing interest, but in fact, we're both just so busy that we forget to communicate the obvious thoughts we may be thinking. He asked me to be his boyfriend two weeks ago....I told him I will give him an answer one day.....when you don't live 4, 321 miles away. Please tell me this is a waste of time.

J'hontaivius: "This nigga aint telling y'all every muthafuckin thang..."
T: "I'm getting there, Taye, dang!"

[I really don't like him sometimes.]

Okay, so you know my philosophy regarding love: I take applications and conduct interviews, and weed out candidates who don't meet the qualifications. I mean, is that not the premise of dating? To interview for the long-term deal? So the weekend of April 24th, I called my good friend J.B. to surprise visit him and such in the great city of Huntsville, Alabama.....right. I get off work and get right onto 24 West and head to good ol' Alabama. I hadn't been to Huntsville since June 2007 when....(there's a story and a wound I'm not ready to divulge). So after the initial greetings and catching-up, J.B. and I head out to the club - which was a shack. I mean, its a literal hole in the wall, but the DJ had it rocking! After being introduced and scoping the scene, I made a beeline for the bar. The bartender proceeded to inform me that they were working with limited choices of spirits, so I had to reluctantly consume bottom shelf choices. As I was drinking this concoction the bartender suggested [named a Purple something....and tasted similar to syrup of black draught!] I was taking in the room and looking at the other patrons of said rainbow shack, and other by the door standing reserved, silent, and mellow was him. Let's not even give him a nickname yet.....I did not approach him, I continued to take in my surroundings and drink this liquid crack I paid $6 dollars for I knew was going to assist with my getting buzzed. Because men of class do not get drunk. [....insert devilish laughter here.] The night progressed; I sipped, I danced, I walked it out, and I randomly kissed a girl - still trying to figure out the details behind THAT, but at the end of the night, him and I did strike up conversation & and exchange numbers. We agree to get together to bask in the ambiance of Mary Jane and pancakes. We've been consistently chatting via phone and text ever since; and he's seen me twice since then - including the dinner date I surprised him with on Cinco De Mayo. I made my famous fai-jatas. Ole! We're feeling the vibe and it's refreshing to be mentally naked with someone....I love when you can get the b/s in the open. He's aware of the other suitors and I told him about my venture into blogging. [Hence whereas why I won't give him a nickname, yet - I want him to know that his "identity" is safe, as blogging is new to him.]

Nothing else has really happened, so I guess you're all caught up....well, a tryst or two has occurred, but nothing major resulted. Now I am ready to decide what to do regarding all these different parties getting involved. I am not going to continue balancing time, as I desire to be in a relationship. But I won't rush it. So stay tuned! Because this moment will eventually be mine.

P.S. I'm learning how to blog from the BlackBerry, so I'm gonna try to keep you and myself up to date :)

Life Spirals Like A Cyclone

So much has happened...I'll be writing in soon, I mean I/we just haven't had the time...but an update will be published soon. Until then, here's a clue regarding what's going on.

Random Fun...Deer In The Headlights

Yesterday, my friend Kenny, who I met randomly through another friend at my university and realized he needed a brother-figure, called me to inform me he'd be passing through my great city en route to the cesspool of sin formally known as ATLanta with his friend Marcus in tow. [Disclaimer: I love ATL, but I'm just bitter because I haven't been able to go down and see my friends and kick it in a few weeks.] After chilling at my temporary home for a while, somehow I get sucked into going to ATL, too!

Me: "Damn, Kenny, I'd go but I just can't do it right now."
Kenny: "That's okay, brother; you need gas money? Here's gas money."
Me: "Okay.....and what about club admission? Drinks?"
Kenny: "We going to the liquor store when we get there."
Me: "I'll go pack a bag...."
(Clearly I should've kept my a** at home.)

After a fun drive down I-75, cruising and doing Car Karaoke to such great songs as Solange's "Sandcastle Disco" and Brandy's "Camouflage," we arrived at the hotel and immediately began preparations to embark on some random fun. Now on Thursdays in the A, there are (3) venues to choose from; by default (and b/c it was close), we chose Bulldogs. [See, I really should've stayed home...] Of course, since I'm the one that knows Atlanta the best, it was an unspoken fact I was going to be driving. So I had my shot of Bacardi before we left, since I couldn't drink a lot when we go to the club. Got there, got drinks, meandered around the masses, you know the drill...then the interesting stuff begins to unfold. I'm walking around solo for no reason & a nigga shorter than I am stepped to me and attempted to coerce me into a sex session with him and his four friends. WHERE they do that at?! Now, I won't front, the short dude was a lil' feminine (and that's okay), but damn he was attractive - not cute - and he had a swag that was too big for someone 5"3! One of the group members asked me for my number, and I pull out the Blackberry and the group goes ballistic! [They all have BlackBerries as well.] We exchanged PINs and I told 'em I'd BBM one of them later (this was a white lie). [And this n***a is messaging me right now!!]

More dancing ensued, and eventually the lights illuminated the darkest corners to allow you to see what real trolls were on the hunt. Haven't you noticed that when you're at the club, someone can be cute in the dark, but when the lights come on, you clearly realize its the alcohol impairing your damn vision. I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE! LOL! Breaking into the early morning light after the fun-filled evening, the crew and I attempted to walk back to the car without giving the appearance we were inebriated....it was a sight to see. Upon arrival back to the car, I was stunned to discover I'd left the car key dangling in the lock - for three hours. Deeeeeeeeeeeeep. So we had a quick praise session, giving God the glory for having His hand over the car. We depart the parking lot and proceed down West Peachtree Street en route back to the hotel. As we were crossing over 10th Street, we simultaneously screamed noticing a car heading East on West Peachtree, right for us! NOTE: West Peachtree Street is a one way street. I dodged the idiot and regained my bearing and continued on to the hotel. And then, I was hit with the craving for a hot dog from the QT. [Hot dogs from the QT be phi!] Satisfied my craving, safely got us back to the room and we all proceeded to pass out.

Oh, what a random night.

Freedom, Bondage, and the Cyclone in the Midst

Okay, first off, I express my deepest apologies to myself; for neglecting to blog in a timely fashion. But I have been readjusting to the new chapter I've begun writing through some fault of my own...and now, what you've all been waiting for: the updates!

The Definition and I are in a weird place, but he randomly called like two weeks ago and explained to me why he is where he is when it comes to matters of the heart. Apparently he's given up on relationships....clearly, its only a matter of time before either 1) I fizzle, or 2) he fizzles. Somebody likes somebody and last time I checked, we like each other. What's the deal with everyone having commitment issues?! If it works, GREAT! If it doesn't, I learned a lot. You'll never know the results unless you take the chance. So we're still floating title less, but it's working (for now)....

*****************
Now - about my mom and my sister - three words: I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~ That's right, you read it right; I am finally free after sixteen months of riding my coattails, mooching my money, and continuously invading my privacy and life.....Whoo, I had to shout for a moment. THANK YA! ~ So I went to the apartment complex's office on February 22nd to (so I thought) renew my lease (which I did not want to do). Well, my community manager happily informed me that I was not being afforded the opportunity to renew my lease, as I was in violation of it: Unauthorized Tenants [Sec. 4, Para. 6] and that I can vacate the premises at my leisure - as long as I departed prior to March 2nd, or I'd have to pay another month's rent. Now, where do they do this at? Oh, and I was not receiving my security deposit back.
~ I go home to deliver this blow to the heart to the family....and in the end, this woman had somewhere else to stay before I was finish telling the story! WTH?????? As I'm talking and expressing my personal anguish, crying because this s**t is literally f**king my life up, SHE is texting her boyfriend (well, the dude who should be her boyfriend, but she keep ac'kin dumb about it) and this nigga said, "Y'all can come stay with me." Rick is a young man, ambitious and humble, living in a 2 bedroom apartment downtown in the Historic District with himself and his dog, Pepper. WTF you didn't go stay with ol' boy when all this s**t wit' y'all jumped off in the first place!!!!????? Damn, damn, damn! [Breathe, T, breathe]. Oh, well.................what's done is done, but I'll be damned if I ever extend a hand to anymore relatives.....I swear fo' L'awd! This past year and a half has slick made the KiD (me) bitter and stone-cold on some facets of my persona. I pray I can reach some level of normalcy again.
~ And in case you're wondering, on March 1st, I was granted the blessing of TEMPORARILY moving back into my teenage room at my grandparents' house, who "graciously" welcomed me home with a get2gether, while informing I had to attend church every Sunday I was in town (not optional), purchase my own personal food (and buy staples for the house), and that I had until the summer to move out. I must vacate by June 5th.....on the plus side: I'm free, b****! And I live 2 minutes from work now....and my blood pressure dropped 6 points in a week [my doctor said, "Its amazing how fast that happened!]. I can't begin to describe what and how I feel....I am...relieved. So, onward to getting a new place....I will be out before my deadline. TRUST.

So, also in the midst of all this, some random person I met through some other friends while on one of my not-so-sporadic trips back "home" to ATL found me on MySpace two months ago! And I would've mentioned it sooner, but it wasn't as important then. Now we are communicating daily, and it's going well. Now, before you say anything - I hate conversing with more than one person ["talking to" 2-6 ppl is so "How To Be A Player]. But, chemistry is chemistry. And this person and I are on some synonymous type s**t. I shall code-name him 'Freeze.' (You'll find out why in a minute.) THE PROBLEM: He lives in ALASKA.

In addition to this chaos, factor in finding another job (so I can quit the hotel), dealing with the fact my brother's moving to Texas for pharmacy school, and that equals a heavy hearted T.J. Ugh! Can J'hontaivius take over for a while, because I need a break and a cocktail.

Me: "Hello, waiter; can I get a "Walk Me Down (Sweet Jesus)?"

So, here I am, and finally, this moment is mine (again)!

Quick Hit

So much has changed since my last post......When the dust settles and the smoke clears, I'll be back to give you the full 411. Promise. And you're going to be blown away :)

Man Down Situations

Sorry about the delay in posting; you know life and work will devour you if you don't run fast enough.

First order of business: So Mom and sister still reside with me, and because of this I did what I thought was right - I claimed them on my taxes - both of them, providing proper paperwork showing I have been their source of financial support and the IRS agreed. So cool, some extra $$! But only my mom could turn this into a classic moment.

Mom: "So, you claimed us on your taxes right?"
Me: "Yes, ma'am." [This conversation's about to get ignorant....]
Mom: "How much we getting back?"
Me: "We?"
Mom: "I mean, you wouldn't be getting nothing back if you wouldn't have carried us..."

As if I don't work 30-40 hours a week and attend classes! Like I'm just chillin' and collecting a welfare check or something! The audacity.....wait, wait, wait....this is my mother....the woman who gave me life, so I paused and prayed then walked away...and when I received my refund I thoroughly pissed off the masses by only depositing $500 into her bank account. I got blessed out so bad, I had to go holla at my girl and smoke a blunt - something I rarely do!!

Moving on.

Valentine's Day....I prefer the term "Single Awareness Day," referencing the fact that Valentine's Day is exploited to the point that if you're not in a relationship, you're a loser - which is why for the past three years I've promoted 'Single Awareness Day' and went out w/ other singles and toasted the concept of being one w/ one's self, and not in a state of insanity (a/k/a "love), and this year was no different. Yes, I am talking to a man I thought was "The Definition," but he's been going through some personal struggles and has just started back consistently communicating with me after a two week hiatus. The Definition is one of those people who get down and like to go sit in a closet til they get their problems worked out....so, I don't know what's going to happen with us. And it's already hard as we live in different cities (though he's just an hour and a half away, the distance takes a toll....especially on "those days"). So since he's doing his thing, I continued on with my normal plans: went to ATL and got up with my best friends, drank, danced like the world was ending, and bashed him to kingdom come verbally for having me alone on Valentine's Day - wait, I meant "Single Awareness Day."

Now, riddle me this: was I wrong for going to grab brunch with someone on that day? I mean, it was two people who were respectively desiring pancakes? Yes, someone may or may not "like" someone in the party, but that has yet to be verified. It may well not be....

While in ATL, I went to see the man I'd thought was going to be my undoing last year during Spring Semester....I will deem him, "VA." Though we aren't romantically linked, we still keep tabs on each other - no explanation why. I know why I do [because I refuse to let him settle down with someone who isn't as awesome as me], and this weekend he told me what I wanted to hear almost a year ago:

VA: "There are four people I want with me on Tuesday for my birthday, and you are number one."

Too bad he and I both knew I wasn't going to be in town; I got all four wisdom teeth extracted Monday morning at 10:45AM, hence my blogging at 1:52AM now because I've sleep all day from the drugs and last night's Charmed marathon. I'm watching the entire series since I'm off work for a week....I killed Season 4-5 in a day. I skipped Seasons 1-3....because I saw them and I don't care for the 'Prue' character - she needed therapy.

Well, that's all to discuss right now.....later days, and this moment is mine.

25 Random Things About Prodigal Soul

By popular demand and continuous pestering, I've decided to submit and publish this ridiculous list of personal information I'm weary to share:
*You know the rules...I shall not be copy/pasting them. Let's begin....


1. I am selfish as all get out. Despite my outward appearance and offers of assistance in a situation, secretly I'm just being nice and praying you say "No" so I can go about my way. This is not entirely true, but sometimes, I just don't be wanting to hear it/do it/see it/ go with you.

2. My favorite spirit is the Holy Spirit. My second favorite is the spirit of Bacardi; in all forms, shapes, and sizes - except for that 151....I dont' drink lighter fluid straight.


3. You can get me to cosign to anything with the promise of food on the horizon. Or Oreos. I once drove someone round trip from Chattanooga to Nashville and back in exchange for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants - J. Alexander's. I got to order whatever I wanted. Grand total of the check: $73.41

4. I play the role of the black geek, but underneath the guise is the soul of a freak. I'm very adventurous...and I shall leave it at that.


5. When I was nine years old, I made out with a girl for the first time. Her name was ___________ _________ and I instantly knew we'd just be together forever...what the hell was I thinking?

6. Most people in this day and age cherish family, good friends, and the one they love. Not me. Give me my laptop, an iPod, and my Blackberry....I think I'll manage.


7. Rebuttal to number 6 - I love my family to death, but if you'd have to have had to endure the year I had, you'd need a break from your mom, too! [Message me about this one. Trust me, its quite the tale]

8. I've got a long-lost brother I'm searching for. You know how "Dads" are. And mine was in the Army, but thankfully he only made one additional child (so he says). I know his alleged name (Timothy James Perry) his mom's maiden name (Jacqueline Perry) and that he's from Maryland, and that his grandparents at one point lived in Seat Pleasant, MD. I thought I'd found him on Facebook (of ALL places!) but I wrong....maybe.


9. I occasionally "medicate" via herbs. I am not ashamed about this. It's natural, and from the
earth.

10. Daydreaming is my enemy. I will zone out on you in a minute and go my fantasy world where all in right, and I don't have to deal with certain things....like bills.


11. When I was 13, I was introduced properly to the art form of....you know. It resulted in the creation of a monster.

12. I have read the entire Karma Sutra twice, studied the arts of Tartaric sex, and started buying an ice cream cone a day to practice the skill that would make me famous....and this was in high school.


13. I have friends, but my actual true circle of friends I communicate with inconsistently, yet when they call I'm so there - and vice versa. Well, I'm going to be late. But I'm coming!

14. I ain't never (that's right, I said it) on time for anything! Count it all joy if I show up 5 minutes late. But I'm doing better. My boss noticed it even. Now, I actually have to be on time for work since she sees it's possible.


15. My closet is organized from left to right as follows: jeans (by designer and denim color),
khakis, dress pants, belts, ties (on a rotating tie rack), vests (by cut and color), short-sleeve T-shirts, long-sleeved t-shirts, short-sleeved polos, short-sleeved button-ups, long-sleeve button-ups, blazers, light jackets. All by 1) designer, and 2) color. And I did this BEFORE I went to the Army....


16. Monk on USA is my unofficial hero....I have acute OCD. Ask anyone. I haven't been officially diagnosed, however, there have been accounts where I've have to rearrange or reposition stuff because it would drive me bonkers. Thus #9 comes into play.

17. If I could get Comcast to make a "Choose Your Channels" package, I'd only need Cartoon Network, Boomerang (gotta have my Jetsons!), Nickelodeon, BET, BETJ, VH1, VH1Soul, and TNT (I like ER and Charmed reruns). My bill would be like $18/month, and I'd be in heaven.


18. My favorite TV channel is Cartoon Network. My #1 cartoon of all time is 'A Pup Named Scooby-Doo' tied with 'Dexter's Laboratory.'

19. I write lyrics...you know songs. I can't produce beats yet, but I'm learning! I have even gotten some of my songs sold and onto CDs! I wrote a song for the Christian group, Out of Eden, which they recorded prior to disbanding. If you want to hear it, email me; no, I won't make you go buy the CD.


20. I shop at thrift stores. Yeah, seriously. If vintage is "in," then why pay x amount of dollars for something made to be vintage when you can go get the real deal from Little Five Points? I got a pair of True Religion jeans for my cousin for 37 dollars with the authentic tags from the store still on them. Amen for the rich, because sometimes I'm poor.

21. I love to sing, but I won't sing in front of people, because some people are so critical. And one of my closest friends can really sang, and I look up to him, so I don't want to cop his signature...you feel me? I"m like Ne-Yo: I don't wanna cut an album, just let me write the songs and get my checks. *Look where he is now....maybe I should do a demo, for fun.


22. If you see me with earphones in on campus, I'm probably not even listening to music; I just don't like engaging in conversation en route to class. I'm already usually late.

23. I have returning phone call issues; so much so, I've lost out on relationships because I would never just pick up the phone and call. I thought I was the only one like this, but as it turns out, there are others...but I'll send a text or an email in a minute! Thank God for the BlackBerry....


24. I love to write, to share my triumphs and pitfalls, but I don't like to share my personal poetry often...it reflects too much of myself and I'd feel naked - all flushed with fever. Embarrassed by the crowd LOL

25. From April 2004 - August 2004 while stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas...I had a career as a stripper. That's right....me! I had just gotten back from Iraq the first time and my body was sick! All toned and low body fat, thanks to all that water drinking and sweating. My boy from home was stationed 5 hours away in Colorado, so I'd go hang out with him once a month. My second visit I got propositioned by a young lady who inquired if I was interested in making some money and having fun. Apparently I could dance (and you know the Kid can move a lil' somethin') so the stage was set and "BOY WONDER" was born. Please don't ask who named me....IDK her name, but she tipped me well my 1st show. I drove to CO two weekends a month, and made enough that i didnt have to touch my military pay. Ah, those were good times.


Yes, I saved the best for last.

Celine, Will You Serenade Me?

So I was fortunate enough to be blessed with the opportunity to see one of my favorite singers in concert January 17th in Atlanta....Celine Dion. [Yes, I said it.] Normally, a concert of this magnitude would send my spirit into the stratosphere, but with everything going on - raising Mom, my sister, working all the time, and writing new songs - I didn't have the energy to be excited.

But luckily I have awsome friends. (Whom I will introduce later...)

They boasted me up so much I was estatic by the time it was showtime, and WHAT. A. SHOW! Celine put on a show that was so powerful, the crowd was moved to either cheers or tears. And she sang my favorite song, "To Love You More." I was my first time seeing her live, and I boo-hoo'd during the bridge [my favorite part]. So, if you can catch her in concert....GO! At the end of the show, she sang the Titanic song; EVERYONE sang along, and the entire crowd held the last note like they were in the shower at home, singing along...hilarious! Yet it brought everyone together. I made quite a few new friends that night. I'm looking forward to Jill Scott live next. That'll produce one hell of an eargasm.

Yeah, I had a video in the last post, but after seeing this song performed live, and listening to the words - I had to share it, ya dig? Because "A New Day Has Come!"

Problems Into The New

The year just started and I'm already way in over my head; financially, emotionally....when will the acquisition of peace happen? I need a vacation from life - just about four days I can go to a remote location and do a "Stella." Get back in touch with myself: reassess who I am and what my personal goals and dreams are, as I have lost sight of them while dealing with the never ending drama that is everything and everyone else in my life.

Also, the hope of love is an issue (but isn't it always?). I'm torn at the moment between two beautiful people, but each I am scared to love wholeheartedly in fear of A) running them off, or B) me running away. I think I need to go see my therapist.

Have you seen Beyonce's video for "Halo?" It's so simple, but deep! I want the kind of love portrayed. Maybe I've found it....but who knows, as only time will tell...you know how love in "the life" goes.