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"One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself, but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is." - Norman Vincent Peale

Thursday, June 4, 2009

This One [Crying Like A Child]

*Press 'Play,' take a breath, let the song load - then begin reading the truth about "The One" who had me crying like a child that fateful June day in 2008...

We met in person through a mutual friend, and after having spent one wonderful evening together - you won me over with your fine cooking and some wonderful music. Your food warmed my soul, your musical taste/selections touched my heart; your mere presence and company put me on a high I have never been on before, and the passion we shared with one another made my heart skip a beat and left me speechless. I don't even remember the ride home that morning. You had me that bad. I feel that I had waited my whole life for that one evening. You have been in my dreams my whole life. I wish you would have given me a chance.

I have a picture of you that I keep close by. Also I don't let my Valentine's Day 2008 gift stray too far. (I named it after you). I look at them quite often and wonder why everything in my life that is too good to be true, actually is too good to be true. Our feelings for one another grew very very strong very fast. It kind of scared the two of us. I would like to think that our being scared is a smaller part of a larger plan.

You have other things going on in your life right now that don't allow for a relationship as of now. However, I feel that when I think of you so strongly and so often that there is something worth holding on to and going after. I am not going to give up. You are worth the wait, worth fighting for, and definitely worth having in my life regardless of any consequences on my behalf. I have never in my life wanted any one person in my life so badly as I do you. I hope you can appreciate that there is someone out there (me) that wants to be with you for all of the right reasons. You just have to give me a chance.

I don't care that we have known one another for such a short time. I cannot help how I feel or what makes me tick. There is so much that I have wanted to tell you, but resisted for fear of scaring you off, as this heavy of emotion is questionably too soon. If you read this, at least you now know that you have someone that aches to be with you only to make you the happiest man in the world that could love you unconditionally till the very end. Not to be vein, but I know I could be such a person to you, if you would just give me a chance.

I know that we both feel something for one another. I cannot get your voice out of my head, your face out of my mind, and I can't find that piece of my heart that is missing.....cause you have it. I never imagined anything like this being so hard. It kills me to know that you are so close and that I can't have you. I am obviously a wreck over you, and being smitten over you would be a gross understatement. Nothing I could ever say or do will ever be able to speak as loud as my heart does for you. I BEG of you, please don't forget me. I can't help but to follow my heart, and you are what my heart is after.

Dammit,........ I just can't quit you. I deserve a chance with you.

Sex Is Overrated....

....says the dude who's been getting his study on consistently for about two weeks! I don't know what to make of this desire that's been washing over men to request to give me face....but I thank you. I am so much more open to the receiving of fellatio. I can get that behind my desk at the hotel...not that I have. This month.

Why am I having the "orgel fantasia" dreams again....? [Don't even ask! I'm going to make a video to explain this.] [As soon as I figure out how to work this damn webcam.]

And if you haven't noticed, I'm trying to be more open and honest here at "This Moment Is Mine." I mean, I'm not revealing everything - but you certainly will be pulled in. And out. In. And out.

Get me a hot towel. Clean up on Aisle 7.

Long Story Short

Updating the followers.....

Well, I almost died May 15th at 4:08 AM along I-40 East, swerving to avoid a swerving semi. Apparently I was supposed to let the semi hit me, so I could get paid. I drive a 1996 Honda Accord - that shit would've been instantaneous man-down. So long story short (and leaving out the part about me calling 5 people crying hysterically), now I'm car less and was stuck in Nashville for 6...days. Thank God for one of my soldiers (from the Army Reserve). He hooked me up with his spare bedroom - in exchange, I cooked my ass off.
On Day 5, I made my famous queso/Ro-Tel (whatever you call it) & my first stab at Broccoli & Cheese Casserole. I'd have posted the end results - the empty dishes - but they mysteriously disappeared....hmmm. I think the crew ate those, too. I had to leave my Honda in the safety of a backyard and catch the Greyhound back to the Scenic City. Ugh. I felt like such a commoner.

***** "The Definition" has officially downgraded himself. It is what it was and it fizzled into what I won't let it be. He won't be sampling this ass any longer (unless OUR communication gets bertter)....I need consistency and communication and his muthafuckin' ass is lacking. SO AM I. I'm horrible when it comes to picking up a phone....Oh, if only his love and sex game tactics aligned; and my communication skills were equal to my making sticky skills - he'd be awesome. And I'd be the shit. And we would work. And I'd have a boyfriend I'd relocate for. OH WELL. I smile because it happened and I move forward.
**** "Freeze" downgraded me back to friend status; today. VIA TEXT MESSAGE. I have no comment for this because I never agreed to this relationship thing officially anyway.
**** "Him." Well, it was over before it even started. Story of my life.

[Singing] "He Ain't With Me Now" though....

I'm back.
Well, almost...

There are some candidates whom have presented good qualities, and each deserve a shot at the title, but there can only be one. There will only be one.

"J'hontaivius:" I need choices, dude.

[suppressing alternate personality]
I have got to get his ass intergrated. He is going to get me in more trouble that I'll allow.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sexes, Scandal, and Broken Cars

That sums up the last two weeks...full lengthy update coming!