The First One

To the person who truly inspired me to start this journey: "heartbreaker." Thank you for being brave, courageous, and strong enough to tell the world your story.

"So what are Ah-Ha moments?

I like to describe Ah-Ha Moments as those when the intellectual mind, the emotional mind and the physical body all come to an agreement at the same time. It’s when you have an idea or problem that you have struggled with in your mind, it caused icky or conflicting emotions, and your body usually tensed up or got stressed out when you thought about it.

Then in one fell swoop, your mind “gets it” - you have a flood (tiny or huge) of good emotions, and you feel a physical sense of relief and happiness, joy or resolution." - Wendy Piersall

This perfectly describes my recent 'ah-ha moment' I had this morning, as I was mindlessly sitting at my workstation [pretending to work, whereas I was actually reading my favorite blog, "The Other Side Of Me..." http://xctd2.blogspot.com/] when it hit me: I need to be citing these crazy misadventures I experience daily. I am a blog reader, so what's hindering me from becoming a blog writer? This one question alone opened the floodgates to many more questions. By choosing to blog, I am opening up my life to the masses. Becoming a source of insight and entertainment to an already complex world; I would have to face the proverbial music.

Blogging would help me come to terms with who I am.

But who am I? So far, I know that I am Terrence - 26 years old, an intellectual, cultured, logical thinking young man with a passion for music and a desire to save the world. I love all things artistic: musical theatre, art galleries, symphony performances....the sound of a piano being played with soul does things to me illegal in 16 states. I work for a decent hotel chain, involved with handling public relations for a regional entertainment company and volunteer free time to reading to younger kids and feeding the less fortunate. Aren't I awesome!? But....then there's "Jhontaivius." Now most people who have alter ego's manifested theirs from childhood trauma, life-changing events that have shattered their psyche, or for the pure purpose of escaping their current situation. "Jhontaivius" is 22, sexy, studios, and a seducer of weak souls who was manifested when I came to terms with the fact that I was...gay. I created this alternate version of myself whom I felt was everything I was not at the time of my awakening in November 2002. There is so much to tell...I don't want you to learn everything right away, otherwise you wouldn't read, and I (nor you) would not learn anything from this!

So I begin to chronicle the life and experiences that were "his" and are now mine. Yes, the lines will blur and you will be confused from time to time & that's okay - I will be, too. But the journey from then, to when the two personas reluctantly intergrated into one and beyond, will be perilous, insightful, and quite the tale to tell! Here begins MY story; the story of T, "N 2 My Own...Life."

- Terrence b/k/a "Taye"