A Night Off...Try A Year

We're back!

Well, I'm back....me....T.

I know, I know, I know - the last time I posted was literally last summer, and I regret my super denial of the blog, but blogging takes discipline; a discipline I had to develop with time. So I think I can do consistently now, having need of a space where I can air my dirty laundry.

So within the year I will simply list the occurrences that have changed me for better and for worse:

1. Mom and Sister have their OWN PLACE - like, its HERS! I could not be happier! --- until I went to my storage unit one day and saw they used my two bedrooms to replace their own. So now all I have in storage is a couch, clothes, and a microwave. DO YOU SEE HOW SEE DO ME?
2. I've managed to acknowledge Jhontaivius' existence within me and I have acted on his desires without allowing him to fully take over, thus keeping me out of trouble. Except for when he wanted to go to this bathhouse....couldn't fight 'em that time....
3. I have abstained from fuckery for quite a few months, since the diagnosis of a good friend jolted me into a reality I've never know. People, please get tested regularly!
4. I'm in a state we have come to know as love -- remember ** The Definition ** - and after not taking each other seriously for a year, I'm relocating to see what we could be. But we're still not dating exclusively. Are we? I mean, we haven't said it.
5. I'm on Twitter now: follow me! And if you're not on Twitter, what the f**k are you doing in your spare time?

So to anyone reading and everyone who's stumbled upon this blog, prepare for the laughs to return....it's on.

Because My Brother's Needing Me To Update The Blog So He Can Read It At Work

T: "I'm back, Blogland!"
J'hontaivius: "But I will be the one telling you what the fuck's happened so far..."

We haven't been properly introduced; I'm 'J'hontaivius J.' the more free-spirited side of Terrence....ya boy's been goin thru sum shit & been trippin' bout bloggin bout it, talkin' about "I don't wanna put myself out there!" and redundant shit like that. I really don't give a fuck what his ass does as long as I get my muthafuckin' nut ya feel me? I'm trying to get this bitch nigga laid and paid and he wanna be all good n shit! What the fuck's up wit that?!

T: "Can you please not write such filth about me? That's libel, JJ."
J'hontaivius: "Nigga who lyin wit yo wack ass?"
T: "Can I start the catching-up process now, sir?"
J'hontaivius: "Yea whatever but hurry up I'm fucking hungry-er than a bitch....!"
T: "Thank you so much for understanding."

Pardon the interruption; he's a character, that persona of mine. Now, back to my previous statement: I'm back! And it feels great to say so. So much has happened since the last true post. So let's begin - and I will attempt to make it brief [as if I could].

So I'm still living at the Big House with the GPs and am actually loving it (for the time being). I have a room, a private bath, and get at least 3-4 hot meals a week, its rent free and I only have to contribute to the basic essentials of groceries (eggs, milk, cheese, and cereal). However I do not have any privacy, total disregard of my 'grown-man status,' and get whispered about at the dining room table. The GPs just want me to get it back together and be happy; meaning save money and move out. I miss the wonders of watching TV naked, wrapped in a sheet on my couch with a bowl of Frosted Flakes and cartoons on. My father has strategically gotten an RV onto the property; so now I have the pleasure of him consistently inquiring about my life and who's in it, asking to borrow clothes and condoms, and getting water all over my bathroom during his showers.

I got a second job at another hotel. Its part-time, but its at the Holiday Inn Express and that's cool because of the pay raise. This check'll pay AT&T because of my high mobile phone bill. Is $167 a month too much? Apparently they don't think so; but I love unlimited everything! I should consider downsizing my plan, but when you run a business and are also a socialite, its hard to be out of touch. Gotta have my Blackberry, baby!

Now, about the Love Life:

** "The Definition" and I are slowly fizzling. Meaning the pop and sizzle is officially on simmer. I think he's a great person with a beautiful spirit, but let me inform you of the catalyst of why we're not as poppin' as we were - "The Definition" got into a verbal altercation with a superior not in his chain of responsibility at his job, and the ending result: he quit his job. In the midst of a recession. He quit his job. Now he informed me of what happened and everything and I was in total supportive mode, but here's the tiny tidbit that sent me reeling: When he's down, he's down and nobody can help. He doesn't want to see me, call me, whatever....but this dude will text. I'm ready to just say, "I care about you and what you're going through, but I feel you pushed me away, and I don't like that." Also we have trust issues....notice the WE there. So maybe I should just call it off to save face. Because until we were star-crossed from the beginning....
** "Freeze" and I are progressing. We're at that space where it seems someone's losing interest, but in fact, we're both just so busy that we forget to communicate the obvious thoughts we may be thinking. He asked me to be his boyfriend two weeks ago....I told him I will give him an answer one day.....when you don't live 4, 321 miles away. Please tell me this is a waste of time.

J'hontaivius: "This nigga aint telling y'all every muthafuckin thang..."
T: "I'm getting there, Taye, dang!"

[I really don't like him sometimes.]

Okay, so you know my philosophy regarding love: I take applications and conduct interviews, and weed out candidates who don't meet the qualifications. I mean, is that not the premise of dating? To interview for the long-term deal? So the weekend of April 24th, I called my good friend J.B. to surprise visit him and such in the great city of Huntsville, Alabama.....right. I get off work and get right onto 24 West and head to good ol' Alabama. I hadn't been to Huntsville since June 2007 when....(there's a story and a wound I'm not ready to divulge). So after the initial greetings and catching-up, J.B. and I head out to the club - which was a shack. I mean, its a literal hole in the wall, but the DJ had it rocking! After being introduced and scoping the scene, I made a beeline for the bar. The bartender proceeded to inform me that they were working with limited choices of spirits, so I had to reluctantly consume bottom shelf choices. As I was drinking this concoction the bartender suggested [named a Purple something....and tasted similar to syrup of black draught!] I was taking in the room and looking at the other patrons of said rainbow shack, and other by the door standing reserved, silent, and mellow was him. Let's not even give him a nickname yet.....I did not approach him, I continued to take in my surroundings and drink this liquid crack I paid $6 dollars for I knew was going to assist with my getting buzzed. Because men of class do not get drunk. [....insert devilish laughter here.] The night progressed; I sipped, I danced, I walked it out, and I randomly kissed a girl - still trying to figure out the details behind THAT, but at the end of the night, him and I did strike up conversation & and exchange numbers. We agree to get together to bask in the ambiance of Mary Jane and pancakes. We've been consistently chatting via phone and text ever since; and he's seen me twice since then - including the dinner date I surprised him with on Cinco De Mayo. I made my famous fai-jatas. Ole! We're feeling the vibe and it's refreshing to be mentally naked with someone....I love when you can get the b/s in the open. He's aware of the other suitors and I told him about my venture into blogging. [Hence whereas why I won't give him a nickname, yet - I want him to know that his "identity" is safe, as blogging is new to him.]

Nothing else has really happened, so I guess you're all caught up....well, a tryst or two has occurred, but nothing major resulted. Now I am ready to decide what to do regarding all these different parties getting involved. I am not going to continue balancing time, as I desire to be in a relationship. But I won't rush it. So stay tuned! Because this moment will eventually be mine.

P.S. I'm learning how to blog from the BlackBerry, so I'm gonna try to keep you and myself up to date :)

Freedom, Bondage, and the Cyclone in the Midst

Okay, first off, I express my deepest apologies to myself; for neglecting to blog in a timely fashion. But I have been readjusting to the new chapter I've begun writing through some fault of my own...and now, what you've all been waiting for: the updates!

The Definition and I are in a weird place, but he randomly called like two weeks ago and explained to me why he is where he is when it comes to matters of the heart. Apparently he's given up on relationships....clearly, its only a matter of time before either 1) I fizzle, or 2) he fizzles. Somebody likes somebody and last time I checked, we like each other. What's the deal with everyone having commitment issues?! If it works, GREAT! If it doesn't, I learned a lot. You'll never know the results unless you take the chance. So we're still floating title less, but it's working (for now)....

*****************
Now - about my mom and my sister - three words: I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~ That's right, you read it right; I am finally free after sixteen months of riding my coattails, mooching my money, and continuously invading my privacy and life.....Whoo, I had to shout for a moment. THANK YA! ~ So I went to the apartment complex's office on February 22nd to (so I thought) renew my lease (which I did not want to do). Well, my community manager happily informed me that I was not being afforded the opportunity to renew my lease, as I was in violation of it: Unauthorized Tenants [Sec. 4, Para. 6] and that I can vacate the premises at my leisure - as long as I departed prior to March 2nd, or I'd have to pay another month's rent. Now, where do they do this at? Oh, and I was not receiving my security deposit back.
~ I go home to deliver this blow to the heart to the family....and in the end, this woman had somewhere else to stay before I was finish telling the story! WTH?????? As I'm talking and expressing my personal anguish, crying because this s**t is literally f**king my life up, SHE is texting her boyfriend (well, the dude who should be her boyfriend, but she keep ac'kin dumb about it) and this nigga said, "Y'all can come stay with me." Rick is a young man, ambitious and humble, living in a 2 bedroom apartment downtown in the Historic District with himself and his dog, Pepper. WTF you didn't go stay with ol' boy when all this s**t wit' y'all jumped off in the first place!!!!????? Damn, damn, damn! [Breathe, T, breathe]. Oh, well.................what's done is done, but I'll be damned if I ever extend a hand to anymore relatives.....I swear fo' L'awd! This past year and a half has slick made the KiD (me) bitter and stone-cold on some facets of my persona. I pray I can reach some level of normalcy again.
~ And in case you're wondering, on March 1st, I was granted the blessing of TEMPORARILY moving back into my teenage room at my grandparents' house, who "graciously" welcomed me home with a get2gether, while informing I had to attend church every Sunday I was in town (not optional), purchase my own personal food (and buy staples for the house), and that I had until the summer to move out. I must vacate by June 5th.....on the plus side: I'm free, b****! And I live 2 minutes from work now....and my blood pressure dropped 6 points in a week [my doctor said, "Its amazing how fast that happened!]. I can't begin to describe what and how I feel....I am...relieved. So, onward to getting a new place....I will be out before my deadline. TRUST.

So, also in the midst of all this, some random person I met through some other friends while on one of my not-so-sporadic trips back "home" to ATL found me on MySpace two months ago! And I would've mentioned it sooner, but it wasn't as important then. Now we are communicating daily, and it's going well. Now, before you say anything - I hate conversing with more than one person ["talking to" 2-6 ppl is so "How To Be A Player]. But, chemistry is chemistry. And this person and I are on some synonymous type s**t. I shall code-name him 'Freeze.' (You'll find out why in a minute.) THE PROBLEM: He lives in ALASKA.

In addition to this chaos, factor in finding another job (so I can quit the hotel), dealing with the fact my brother's moving to Texas for pharmacy school, and that equals a heavy hearted T.J. Ugh! Can J'hontaivius take over for a while, because I need a break and a cocktail.

Me: "Hello, waiter; can I get a "Walk Me Down (Sweet Jesus)?"

So, here I am, and finally, this moment is mine (again)!

Quick Hit

So much has changed since my last post......When the dust settles and the smoke clears, I'll be back to give you the full 411. Promise. And you're going to be blown away :)